Resilience is a term which has gain much attention over the past two decades as the world has changed significantly. With pressure increasing, along with the challenges of modern life, including technology, social media and stability decreasing. For young people, they live in a world which is fast paced, ever changing and constantly throwing up challenges to stretch and grow, resilience is an essential core quality to be successful as a student and go on to contribute in a positive way to society.
Much research has been done into the topic of resilience. Resilience research analyses why some people, when faced with life challenges, go on to experience more problems and others develop into adults who can contribute positively to society (Werner, 2004).
These studies question why some can survive difficult situations and become stronger and more able, while others suffer from depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. The quote from philosopher Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche “what does not kill me makes me stronger” (Nietzsche, 1888) suggests that it is the event or challenge that strengthens the individual, but research points more to the role of individual responses. As the Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Victor Frankl said: “The last of human freedoms is the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”
Resilience, like mental health, is not static but is something that can change over time due to experiences, education and life’s circumstances.
Students who are more resilient are better able to stay on track with the biological, psychological and social demands of adolescence. Being resilient is associated with better academic performance and school behaviour and over the longer term is associated with fewer mental health difficulties and greater life opportunities including employment and relationships.
Young people who show resilience:
- Know how to cope in spite of setbacks, barriers or limited resources
- Are willing and able to overcome obstacles to get what they want
- Bounce back from adversity and disappointments
- Are flexible and adaptable
- See setbacks as temporary and failures as isolated and short term
Young people lacking resilience:
- See failure as permanent
- Demonstrate inflexible thinking
- Tend to dwell in the past, get “stuck” in the past and can’t move forward
- Experience a great deal of negative “self-talk” (“what were you thinking?” or “you’ll never
come back from this one”)
The Resilience Framework, which is the framework I have developed and used to design the BOUNCE program – my own workshop for helping students develop a greater level of resilience and grit, has been developed through analysing studies in the fields of Positive Psychology and Social and Emotional Intelligence as well as the International Resilience Project by Edith Grotberg, Ph.D.
The 4 Pillars of The Resilience Framework which I focus on my BOUNCE program are:
- I AM – Identity
- I CAN – Capacity
- I HAVE – Support
- I SEE – Hope and Realistic Optimism
1. I AM – Identity
The sense of identity and self within a child or young person will play a huge role in helping or hindering a young person from overcoming challenges and being able to “BOUNCE” when challenging situations are faced.
A young persons values, beliefs and mindsets which play a large role in their ability to display resilience, also are the primary building blocks of a young persons sense of identity.
What they believe about themselves. Their sense of self worth, self value and how they view their own skills and abilities. All of these play a significant role in a young person putting together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle they create to paint the picture of how they see themselves.
How we see ourself will then contribute to our ability or our perceived ability to overcome challenges and get back up when life knocks us to our knees.
- Whether we see ourselves as a fighter or a failure.
- Whether we see ourselves as able or unable.
- Whether we see ourselves as strong or weak.
- Whether we see ourselves as worthy or unworthy.
- Whether we see ourselves as loved or unlovable.
Carol Dweck’s work on Growth Mindset and the Psychology of Success helps us to understand that how we see ourselves plays a significant role in determining our ability to perform at school, in our career and at life in general.
Helping young people to develop a positive sense of identity, develop a healthy sense of self worth, self value and identify their strengths and abilities will set them on the path to developing their resilience.
The characteristics listed under positive identity according to the Search Institute are:
1. Personal power. Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.”
2. Self-esteem. Young person reports having a high self-esteem.
3. Sense of purpose. Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.”
4. Positive view of personal future. Young person has a realistic optimism about her or his personal future.
Our role as trusted adults in the world of young people is to give them opportunities and strategies to develop and enhance these elements.
In BOUNCE we talk about PERSONAL POWER from the perspective of having control over 3 things no matter what is going on around us:
- Focus – How you use your mind
- Language – How you use your words
- Physiology – How you use your body
Self-esteem and self-belief is developed in a young person by:
- Being told they have potential and are valuable
- Developing their potential
- Overcoming challenges and obstacles
- Developing their capacity and capabilities
- Being supported in their journey to develop their independent sense of self
Purpose is found in identifying strengths, gifts and passions and finding a place to share those strengths, gifts and passions in a way that positively contributes to the world around them; and
A positive view of the future is developed by the young person being encouraged to create a realistic vision of what is possible beyond today (which is covered in more detail in pillar #4 I SEE).
As you can see the 4 Pillars of the Resilience Framework somewhat weave themselves together crossing over from one to the other, but together they form the solid foundation for the development of resilience in young people.
2. I CAN – Capacity
A students perception of their own abilities is the second pillar of The Resilience Framework.
When I design programs and camps for young people to develop their Social + Emotional Intelligence and Leadership abilities I understand that there is a “competence – confidence loop” which exists in the world of developing self confidence and resilience.
When we are faced with doing something we have never done before we find our self on the edge of our comfort zone. That’s the space where fear often kicks in, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of looking bad, fear of what other people will think.
As we push through the fear, as we face our fears head on, with the support of friends and helpers around us, and make an attempt at this thing we’ve never done before a number of things may happen.
- We succeed or complete the task (not usually and not always the first time, but maybe). We then realise that we are able (competent) to do something we did not realise.
- We fail / we don’t achieve what we wanted to – but our fears also did not happen and we discover that our fears most often are irrational and keeping us from trying new things. So we try again, and with enough encouragement and support we eventually achieve what we had set out to do.
Which leads to an increase of confidence, which gives us the impetus to try something else we’ve never done before. And so the “Competence – Confidence Loop” grows.
Helping young people develop their capacity, identify and use their strengths, grow in their abilities all contributes to that young person increasing their sense of “I CAN” and their resilience.
Other elements of capacity required within a young persons toolkit are social and interpersonal skills:
- Communication
- Problem solving
- Self management
- Awareness of others
- Ability to seek help and engage in trusted relationships
3. I HAVE – Support
A critical part of #1 – I AM and #2 – I CAN is the power of the supportive people and positive support network around the young person. Often young people cannot see the forrest for the trees – the potential within themselves or their own strengths and abilities.
The single most common factor for young people who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.
I once heard it said that “Every young person is just one trusted adult away from being a success story” The young people in your networks need trusted relationships around them. People they can rely upon, who love and respect them for who they are as a person, not what they do or the results they get. They also need structure, safety and security which often must come from trusted relationships, providing clear rules, routines and boundaries as well as choice and consequences.
As well as the environment around them a young person needs trusted adults, mentors and role models who can not only model to the young person the resourceful ways to do life, but also to provide them with the added support and sense of confidence that comes with having a positive support network surrounding them.
The people who make up these support networks around them need to know when to be active and when to help the young person to be develop their ability to be autonomous and seek help when they need it.
The young person also needs a good awareness of all of the additional available services which exist around them to fill any gaps of support which are not available from their family or support networks.
Having good social networks and relationships is clearly a winning strategy in life, tied to greater psychological and physical well-being, so it’s not surprising that social relationships also matter when it comes to resiliency, in part because they help us feel less stress when we are suffering.
As the American Psychological Association wrote in its resilience report: “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance, help bolster a person’s resilience.”
Having friends you can talk to and share your concerns with, maybe having them help you get a perspective on things—that’s where social ties can be useful.
“It takes a village to raise a child” is a familiar saying, and with good reason. As your teen grows, it is important for them to get to know other adults who are here to help. A support system equips teens to solve problems independently. Relationships with people besides Mom and Dad show them that they are so well loved, even beyond their immediate family. Plus, a network of trusted adults teaches teens to seek out resources when they face a challenge. Here are some ways to help your teen build a support system, fostering strong relationships among other important adults in their life.
Here’s just a few quick tips to help teenagers develop their support networks and a sense of certainty from the people around them:
1. Model to teenagers that it’s okay to ask for help
Teenagers will do what you do before they do what you say, so modelling is one of the most powerful forms of teaching when it comes to equipping young people with the skills they need to build a strong support network.
The stages of help-seeking are commonly defined as:
- Identifying the need for help.
- Deciding to seek help.
- Finding and accessing the appropriate help.
Even if young people have the awareness of their need for help, having the confidence to ask for help from the support around them can be seriously challenging.
2. Create opportunities for teenagers to strengthen relationships which already exist
One of the programs I run in schools across Australia is for boys in year 9 and 10 called “A Real Man” where we create space to have conversations about what it means to be a real man, breaking down the stoic stereotypes and helping young men explore the journey they are on in becoming a man. As a part of this program we often run Father/Son evenings where we create space for fathers and sons to strengthen their connections, have deep conversations and explore the journey of becoming a man.
Creating these types of opportunities for teenagers to strengthen relationships with people in their world can be significant in bolstering the strength of their support systems.
3. Help teens to expand the circle of support
Bringing new people into a teenagers world can help them to build new connections with people who can become a part of their support networks.
Having local representatives from support agencies and organisations like Headspace or Beyond Blue come into your school or classroom to connect with the students and share with them the support structures which are available in their world can help them expand their circle of support.
Another program I have developed which is a project based program called “Leading Edge” involves students developing social-enterprise style projects and we bring mentors in from the community (Business Owners, Sports Personalities, Professionals etc) to connect with, teach and support the students as they develop their projects. Getting hands on with young people creates opportunities to further develop relationships which may only be surface level.
4. Create mentoring opportunities and partnerships
Helping teenagers build bridges to adults who are pursuing paths that mirror that teen’s passion can be a great way to both nurture a young persons passion and help build the strength of their support networks.
This may look like:
- Connecting a student with a sports team, a coach or a mentor
- Connecting a student with volunteer opportunities in their area of passion
- Connecting a student with work experience opportunities with a local business owner or entrepreneur
- Connecting a student with a local youth group or social club
4. I SEE – Hope and Realistic Optimism for the Future
How a young person see’s their future will play a significant role in helping a young person to push through challenges when they arise. Having a positive outlook and a sense of hope that tomorrow will be better than today
Hope is the belief that circumstances will get better. It’s not a wish for things to get better — it’s the actual belief, the knowledge that things will get better, no matter how big or small. The saying “this too shall pass” is a great example of language of someone who despite their current circumstances has a sense that the future will be better than the present.
Researchers have found that students who are high in hope have greater academic success, stronger friendships, and demonstrate more creativity and better problem-solving. They also have lower levels of depression and anxiety and are less likely to drop out from school.
In fact, studies suggest that having hope may actually predict a student’s future academic achievement more than having feelings of self-worth or a positive attitude towards life actually do.
The good news is that hope can be cultivated, even among students who are at risk for losing it. But first we have to understand what scientists mean when they talk about hope.
Hope doesn’t mean wishful thinking—as in “I hope I win the lottery.” Instead, a person who is high in hope knows how to do the following things.
- Set clear and attainable goals.
- Develop multiple strategies to reach those goals.
- Stay motivated to use the strategies to attain the goals, even when the going gets tough.
For educators who want to help their students build these skills of hope, here are five research-based guidelines.
1. Identify and prioritise goals
Start by creating a big picture vision and list of what is important to that young person and have them reflect on what is most important to them and how satisfied they are with their current state of being. Understand that these goals must be what the student wants and not what the teacher or parent want.
From this list of goals, help the student to state the goals in both a specific manner and as a moving towards goal (as opposed to moving away from). A solution-oriented approach will help the student to create goals which are stated in the positive, about something they want to achieve, as opposed to something they don’t want or want to quit doing.
Finally help the student to rank these goals in order of priority and personal importance.
2. Break the goals down into small steps and action tasks
Research suggests that students with a low level of hope frequently think goals have to be accomplished in one giant leap, possibly because they haven’t had the guidance or support from trust adults on how to break goals down into bite sized pieces. Young people can become overwhelmed by long term and big picture goals. A success to one young person may simply be getting out of the house, while for another, completing a resume might be easily achievable. Teaching young people how to see their goals as a series of small steps will also give students the ability to celebrate their achievements along the way—a great way to keep motivation high!
3. Teach young people that there’s more than one way to skin a cat
I don’t know who came up with that saying, but all I mean by it is that there is more than one way to achieve the outcome you want or reach your desired goal. One of the greatest challenges for students with a low level hope is their inability to move past obstacles and challenges – they give up easily. When resilience and hope is low often key problem-solving skills are non-existent, causing them to abandon the quest for their goals.
Helping students to identify obstacles before they appear is a good way to prepare young people for the challenge, as well as help them to identify a potential course of action in the event of a challenge arising.
Most importantly, teachers need to make sure that students don’t equate challenges with a lack of talent or skill; instead, they need to be reminded that everyone faces obstacles. Success usually requires creative ways to overcome these obstacles, not avoiding them altogether. Young people need to understand that people who have achieved success have only done so by overcoming failure and challenge.
4. Share stories of success (and failure)
Scientists tell us that hopeful students draw on memories of other peoples successes and ability to overcome failure and challenges when they face an obstacle; however, students with low hope often don’t have these kinds of memories. That’s why it’s vital for teachers to share stories of other people—especially kids—who have overcome adversity to reach their goals.
5. Keep things positive
It’s important to teach young people to enjoy the journey and the process of achieving their goals, even to laugh at themselves when they face obstacles and make mistakes. Above all take personal responsibility, quit the blame game and no making excuses. Research has also discovered that students who use positive self-talk, rather than beating themselves up for mistakes, are more likely to reach their goals.
